It’s all about expectations

I just don’t feel good anymore. Mom’s not buying me Iphone. :| I don’t know why I continue to get such high hopes for things that don’t happen, I just end up disappointing myself. I want to cry and scream and cry some more. Why can’t I just turn off my emotions? Like a light switch, on and off. That’s what I need right now, I am depressed. I can feel depression swallowing me up.

Having many expectations, gives only disappointment. This is just how life works out sometimes. It’s not anyone’s fault in particular these things just happen. The only thing that is bothersome about that is the disappointment that follows when I can’t meet up to my personal expectations. And it’s so annoying and frustrating and disappointing that I’m not even fulfilling my own expectations.

I expect too much, get my hopes up too much, get attached too much & end up hurt too much. In the end, it’s no one’s fault but my own.

I want to have an Iphone 4s!

I’m a type of girl who gets bored after I get something I wanted. I got my Itouch last 2 weeks and now I want to have an Iphone 4s. I’m going to change my BB into Iphone. I love my blackberry but I kinda want an Iphone. I want Iphone so badly. I want it right now. But Iphone is just too damn expensive. Why does awesome things worth so much money? :| I reserved 1 unit, and I’m gonna get it within this week. But I haven’t told my mom yet. I hope she’ll allow me. Fingers Crossed! I’m desperate. xD

Should I go Iphone or just stick to BB?

ahh-thil: Do you miss me they way I missed you? :< 

Of course, I miss you Thil. I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you. A lot. I love you :*

Ask away. Anon or not.

Throw me some questions if you like. I’d love to answer them. I want to talk to someone about absolutely nothing and everything. I will answer anything and everything. Ask away. Anything that you’re curious about. The subject doesn’t matter. I’ll answer with no hesitation (exception for hate messages). Bored on a Saturday night so please hit that ask button. My inbox desperately needs to get some action. :)

First I Love You.

Do you know how special saying “I love you" is? Hard to believe that 3 little words could mean so much to me, but they do. Saying I love you personally is so important to me. Feeling love is easy. Having the confidence to say it is a tad overwhelming for me. It is so important not only to say that phrase, but also to know if you really mean it.

Saying I love you is something so simple yet too often it is also something they take for granted and so many people are beginning to take it for granted. And couples nowadays ended breaking up. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want after I told someone I love them they’ll walk away and take me for granted. And I don’t want that I’ll regret saying those 3 magical words because of that someone who’ll just leave me hanging. There’s just so many things I’m scared of.

Before, I always wanted to say I love you to my past special someone but I don’t have the courage to do it. I spent so much time thinking, planning how to say I love you which I don’t have the heart to say aloud. I then realized that if I tell someone I love them it shouldn’t be something I really plan, it should be something spontaneously said just because of the fact that I love them. I was telling God before that If I ever say the 3 words it should be to the Man of my Life, my soon to be Husband, the one who’ll be with me forever. The one I truly love and the one that I’ll spend my whole life with. But instead of letting it out. I told myself that maybe someday the right time will come around I just have to wait. I’m making sure of saying I love you personally. When I say I love you, I say it because I mean it and I mean it because it true.

I’ve been waiting for a long time to say I love you to a boy that’s so special to me. It was until yesterday - February 24, 2012. I finally got up enough courage to tell Kristofer I love him personally. I’m happy I told him. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off me. Even if things don’t turn out the way I want them to be. I’m proud of myself for the confidence it took me to tell him how I felt. I will never be able to say I love you to another boy and mean it as strongly as when I say it to him. He’ll be my first and my last. I promise.

I still look back fondly on that memory though. It was one of the happiest days of my life.

Kristofer, this is for you.

I know I always seem to say the same things to you, but it is only because I want to make sure you know how much I appreciate you and all you do. There are no words as to how much I appreciate having You in my life.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you so much, and that me and you are going to be forever. And that baby you don’t have to worry about anything about me finding, looking or entertaining another boy, because all my life I’ve searched and looked for one boy. And now I’ve found the one for me, and baby that’s you. Its you and only you forever until the very end.

Honestly, it feels like its still the first day. I still get butterflies when you hold me. My heart still races when I see you. Even though you’ve told me “I love you” over a billion times. And we’ve been together for a long while. I still get those butterflies in my tummy when you tell me that . I still melt every time you smile at me. I still get that tingling feeling every time I’m with you. You simply make me feel better with just your presence. Every kiss still feels like the first.

I wish I could sit here and tell you exactly how I feel and how much I love you, but words could never be enough to give you even the slightest glimpse of how much you mean to me. I’m thankful to have had the chance to keep you so close to me that you see all my fears and flaws. And at the end of everyday, you still love me for exactly who I am.

I love you so much, always and forever, K and C all the way, Toledo and Montejo forever and always. You are my Kristofer, and I am your Camille. I love you till the sky ends, and forever after that. 

I hope I have you smiling like an idiot by now.

in-the-lalaland-deactivated2012: i love you! you're so special for me 

I love you too. I don’t really know you, but you seem kind, sweet, and friendly. I hope to know you more and I hope one day I get to meet you. :) <3 *hugs*

My Dashboard Theme <3


My first Tumblr Dashboard theme. I finally have managed to stylish my dashboard! I just love my dashboard right now that I want to share it with you. It’s pretty cool, I think. I like the colors. I will never be bored with my dash again! I’ll stick with this dashboard theme now. Awwww I’m loving tumblr more and more each day! Spell A-W-E-S-O-M-E. :3 Do you like it? :)

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