The Beauty in Pain.

Reminiscing the pain that I’ve been through in my 18 years of existence. Too many people have passed. I got cheated on and replaced by someone, worst thing is I was replaced by a boy. Friends, family kept telling me to back off but I never listened to them because I was blinded by love. I was blinded by the fact that I loved this guy I made excuses for everything he did wrong and everything he did to hurt me - I lost count how many times we actually broke up. He ended up hurting me badly and making a mess out of my life. It made me feel so low and hurt me so much that I would cry myself to sleep.

Not only do I feel used, I feel betrayed, heartbroken, dead and every other cliched feeling you feel after a breakup but for the first time in my entire life I’ve lost my faith in the existence of love as a whole. I have become very good at hiding the way I feel from other people. Truthfully, I was scared to fall in love again because my only perception of it was something so beautiful that ended so suddenly, it left me in a state of intense depression. Though I want to believe not only in love but that one day maybe I’ll find someone to love and be loved by again but truthfully I don’t have much faith in that anymore.

I thought those people would care for me the way I deserve to be treated, but I was wrong. They were just a passers in my life who taught me that I cannot teach anyone to love me the way I wanted to be loved. But I realized that it’s not impossible to find the love that I’ve been longing since then. Somehow I thank them. I thank them for giving me heartaches because it led me to my last love. They made me realized that every heartbreak leads a person closer to the one who is meant for her. It’s true, because when they broke my heart, they led me closer to my soulmate and his name is Kristofer Antoni Toledo. An angel that God sent for me, the prince that saved me when I was a damsel in distress, a breath of fresh air in the middle of my quite messy life and the wishes that I made in every star that I’ve waited to fall.

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  1. heneverstopstosmile reblogged this from ohsomekams and added:
    by the first time i saw you, i never knew that you were this kind of girl who tries to be happy, who masked everything...
  2. heneverstopstosmile said: i got nothing to say baby. :’) it made me happy. really happy that i cried reading it :”)
  3. ohsomekams posted this